Title – San Francisco, London & Leather
Author – Ginger Minger
Leather Alan returned this week from his villa in The Algarve, where he had been hiding from his new live-in chick, Emma. He’s made her get a job but he’s having to get her evening meal ready and it’s keeping him out of the pub. He wanted to drive down and take his mate Burgin the Cripple with him but Emma wasn’t having none of that, knowing the availability of women would increase 4 fold with Burgin around.
So, having flown down, he boarded his afternoon flight from Faro back to Birmingham. He had taken his seat near the window, when he noticed a stunning bird, in her early 40’s, walking towards him looking for her seat. Being the horny bastard he is, he couldn’t take his eyes off her and to his amazement, she placed her belongings on the seat next to him.
Once she had placed her things in the overhead locker, she took her seat and gave him a lovely smile. He, of course, smiled back and asked her if she was returning from a holiday. Her trip was purely business, she explained, she had been asked to give a lecture at a conference at the NEC. When Leather enquired as to the nature of the conference, she informed him that it was the Annual Conference of Nymphomaniacs and she was to give a lecture on the misconception of male lovers. OMG!! thought Leather. The anticipation of two and a half hours sitting next to a beautiful nymphomaniac immediately sent his mind into overdrive, his hands were trembling and he could hardly string his words together to ask his obvious next question… “What are the misconceptions?” he said in a high pitched voice.
“Well”, she replied, “it’s often said that the Afro-Caribbean man is the most well-endowed male in the world, yet, in truth, it is the native Red Indian man who takes this title. Again, it is often thought that it is French men who make love more times a week than any other, whilst in fact it is the Greek men that do. And not many people realise that the most virile men in the world are the Irish.”
She continued … “My goodness, here I am, telling you all this and I don’t even know your name”
Leather replied… “It’s Tonto Papadopolous, but my friends call me Paddy”.
Moving on with a chuckle…
Record breaking 320 gigapixel panoramic view of London. Commissioned by BT who are responsible for the fact that most web browsers think that the webpage is in French when it isn’t. That tells you that all the wages earned from developing the BT website is being spent in France, and that’s one of the reasons we, Britain, are in a mess. That and being bled dry by the disabled. To watch a BBC documentary on it’s making (the photo, not the shitty website) click here. Click the image below and enjoy the panoramic view…
Music by Machete Ave.